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Wednesday, December 22, 2010



Bangalore times and Bangalore Mirror SUCK!!!!! Sure, they might be entertaining enough because of the gossip they give or the shocking stories they cover...(or should I say uncover?)...but the point is, they ARE ABSOLUTELY WRONG when it comes to movie listings...According to the newspapers, Virudhagiri is running in Aruna theater, when it actually IS NOT!! Thanks to JustDial, I found out that Virudhagiri is running in Ajantha, Pushpanjali and Venkateshwara theaters! SCREW B'LORE TIMES & B'LORE MIRROR! THEY SUCK!

I BADLY wanted to watch Virudhagiri immediately on return to Bangalore and today, after the morning when I had to collect my father's death certificate, I figured out that the rest of the day was free. It was 10.45 am by the time I was done with my work at the BBMP office near Magadi Road. I called up Ajantha theater folks - they said there're just 2 shows of Virudhagiri - 10.30 am and 1.30 am and today was the last day. I thought, I HAD TO GO at any cost :P...God knows if Cap10 is ever gonna make movies again, given his active involvement in politics and the fate of all his movies at the box office :D. I always wanted to watch a Cap10 movie in theater, at some point in life, with the intention of laughing myself out and having a jolly good time & at one point in the past, I did have good company for it too and was planning to watch one. But now, things are different. I'm alone now - I mean, though I have many many gems of friends who're always there for me when I need them, NONE of them, NONE from my 800+ friends on Facebook would accompany me for a Cap10 movie, of all things :D. (I'm sorry scientist..from next time,u're surely in :P)..Because they are sane and I am not, you guys may think :P. But, like I said earlier, I have watched movies alone, I have watched concerts alone - in short, I JUST DO THINGS WHICH KEEP ME HAPPY :) ..EVEN THINGS WHICH I'VE TO DO ALONE..:)...There's NO WAY ON EARTH I'm gonna miss the Wilbur Sargunaraj concert when it happens in Bangalore :D....So I called up my aunt and told her, "This is the last day, last show...I'm not gonna miss this one!"...I immediately cursed myself on not having brought my camera! The Virudhagiri plan was an ad-hoc decision...and I didn't really get my camera to the BBMP office! What would I click over there!!? The desks, papers, lockers? :D The drain on Magadi Road...rather...Magadi Hill? (It is anything but a road, thanks to the Metro Rail construction going on!). Damn it! Else, I would usually take my camera everywhere!! Even if it were just a 2-min walk to the corner shop to buy an Eclair, and to click it and put it on FB! :D you guys know me! :P...Anyways, thanks to something like a camera in-built in my Nokia 6600, I could click SOMETHING at least!! - Visual Proof of me having ACHIEVED THE IMPOSSIBLE FEAT! :D :D

Anyways, before I talk about the story of my morning instead of the subject of this post...let me get to the topic...So, what is Virudhagiri? It is Lord Cap10 Vijayakanth's latest blessing to mankind ...and this time, it is an OUT-AND-OUT Vijayakanth offering!! - FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, HE HAS WRITTEN THE STORY, SCREENPLAY, DIRECTED AS WELL AS ACTED IN HIS MOVIE!!!! Clearly, "IF I DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE OF CAP10'S IN THEATER, WHICH ONE WILL I WATCH??? :D", I told myself and took the BTMC bus to Ulsoor. I had got along "Five point someone" as a backup, to kill time :P (BTW..I read "One night@the call center" and thought it was AWESOME...Didn't write a review because I would sound repetitive). So yeah, I was engrossed in reading that and I missed my stop! I got down at Adarsha theater to see posters of Upendra and Nayan and "Super". I took an auto back to Ajantha and got down there. It was 12.10 pm. The ticket counter, obviously was not open yet. So, I walked back along Ulsoor Lake to New Shanthi Sagar. There's something about going to beaches and lakes. They make you feel better without your knowledge. What's the funda? - Infusion of fresh air, with no negativity? Diversion of thought? I dunno! Though Arun CS and I discuss concepts with each other, as if we 're the people whom psychologists should consult, should they have any problems, I still do not know the answer to this one :). Anyways, lunch at New Shanthi Sagar NEVER tasted better, after a 13-day absence from outside food. North Indian mini meals for Indian Rupee ₹50. "Cheap!", I thought. It tasted HEAVENLY, to say the least. I always liked Ulsoor and Indiranagar...I've had some of the best times of my life in these areas :).

Aaargh! In my free flow of thought, I always deviate from the topic! Ok ok, here's coming back to the topic. So, WHO IS CAP10?...and what's the deal with the guy? (guy?? err...uncle!!!!)....Cap10 movies are different from normal movies. Though Vijayakanth might sound like a brother of Rajnikanth (I once thought both were brothers! :P: P), he is at a different level altogether. For an introduction to Cap10, please watch these

The "Mr.Asok" thing has become my biggest ever obsession in life...Arun CS and I have started the Mr.Asok foundason :P...Its honorary members are myself, Arun CS, Shayan C, Vinay S, Rufus M, Sriram V, Thayu R...So what does this foundason do? Well, this is a foundason in which yeverthinggg is always in awar control...and yeverbadyy addresses each other as "Mr.Asok". :D :D :D....all yentry paayints to others are blaacked :P....Oops! I forgot the Scientist..Sorry Mr.Asok! :D

Cap10's movies aren't movies. They are Cap10's movies.
So, the difference between Cap10's movies and movies is -
  • For any movie, you have to wait in line to buy the ticket. But for a Cap10 movie, the theater-owner waits for you to buy the ticket.
  • Nope! Rule out online booking, as with movies, because unlike movies, Cap10's movies run in very few select theaters. No multiplexes and all - select theaters in the remotest locations in the city.
  • Good movies might have advance booking open..There's no ADVANCE booking for cap10 movies..One buys the ticket ONLY minutes before the show begins..
  • Movies run with at least 5 shows per day, but Cap10 movies have only 2 shows per day. The other shows are usually adult films, given the kinda theaters Cap10 movies run in. Not bad eh? Cap10 movies come with a package I guess - Unwinding with some midnight masala after getting stressed up trying to fathom a Cap10 movie!
  • Movies can always be seen in theater, or if not possible, on CDs/DVDs original/pirated. Those who are outside South India, Oh man! So sad! You guys cannot watch a Cap10 movie in theater. I'm saying this because Cap10 movies release ONLY IN SOUTH INDIA AND CAN BE WATCHED ONLY IN THEATER, until of course, they are shown years later on TV. It would be a loss even for pirates if they were to burn CDs of Cap10 movies. NO ONE BUYS EVEN A PIRATED CD OF A CAP10 MOVIE!! And the ones who do, like me (I bought a Vaanjinathan+Gajendra 2-in-1 DVD from Landmark. It was a rare treasure) misplace it, like the way I did :( :( (I should've included this in the 3 mistakes of my life). This way, cap10 makes sure that his movies can be watched ONLY IN THEATERS.
  • Movies, when good, run up to a few months and bad ones, up to a few weeks. But Cap10 maintains a standard - For all his movies, the last-day-last-show is not at all far from the first-day-first-show - the difference in days is mostly a single digit. So you've gotta catch it ASAP, if you want to! By the grace of God, I was lucky enough to catch the last-day-last-show of Virudhagiri today.
  • People usually shell out a lot of cash, select the reclining seat option in multiplexes to watch a movie comfortably, more so, when the hall is packed with people. But a Cap10 movie can be watched IN THE MOST COMFORTABLE MANNER, all for Indian Rupee ₹40 - you can sit ANYWHERE (yeah! no seat numbers) and once you do that, you have the option to choose which of the seats in front you want to stretch your legs on - the one right in front, or the one left of that, or the one right of that)
  • People who watch movies fill up at least half the hall, or if the movie is really good, they even make it a full house. But for a Cap10 movie, there aren't more than 10 people on the balcony and 15 people on the ground. People usually sit down and watch a movie. But people who watch Cap10 movies in theater are often seen going to the loo, or going out for a smoke or simply being restless by changing seats every few minutes.
  • Unrelated to movies, but related to Gods. Some people take holy baths after visiting religious places. Cap10 forces anyone who has watched his movie to take a bath. While watching a cap10 movie, one is usually bitten by bugs or "mootai-poochis" in the theater. He has no choice but to come home and have a bath, lest his entire bed be populated with them.
  • Movies usually offer entertainment and good ones have logic in them. Cap10 movies are always entertaining, are MUCH MUCH ABOVE the intelligence of the common man and offer potential scientific research opportunities - like steel plates deflecting bullets, flying bullets killing a person, electricity getting electrocuted, making a man fly by stroking your moustache etc.
  • In movies, people loathe the villain and love the hero...In Cap10's movies, people LIKE TO WATCH the villains...
Ok...I guess that's enough said about Cap10 movies :P. I walked back to Ajantha theater after lunch. J's phone call kept me good company. It was good fun gossiping with her after a long time :P :P...It was 12.50 pm. I bought a balcony ticket, worth Indian Rupee ₹60. I wanted to create a Guinness record by being THE ONLY ONE to watch a movie in theater. But unfortunately, there were others too :(. With the balcony ticket, I thought I could still create a smaller record, THE ONLY ONE in the balcony of a theater. But that failed too! :( There were people who bought balcony tickets. Sigh! India is a HUGELY POPULATED country, after all :D :D. No one is unique after all. There ARE ALWAYS like-minded people IN EVERY SINGLE WALK OF LIFE! :D...There was still time to go. I took a few pics on my cell & then resumed reading 5.some1 ...The movie began.

The movie started off on an unconventional note - All of cap10s real-life of all the good he has done for his people (or posed to do)...were shown...Like a Rajni movie, the intro song was sung by SPB. It went - "Eaylaigal thozha vaa vaa..Engal Cap10 vaa vaa". Finding a Cap10 movie without a reference to the word "eaylai" is as impossible as tolerating Vijay :P :P...or as impossible as not finding a Kangaroo in Australia...or as impossible as a guy not pissing on the roadside in India...Ok ok, stop it Ashwin! Me and my love for idiotic metaphors! :-/

The scene soon shifts to Australia, where Cap10 is on a mission to catch some international terrorists. He comes zooming in an Orange jeep (periya Surya in Ennai Konjam Maatri aah?? :P) and then ..I guess he's not worn make up in this movie. He does look like a 50-year old. Soon enough, he started speaking in English - THE PART I WAS FINALLY WAITING FOR!! :D :D ....But Cap10's USED HIS BRAIN WELL this time - he's audio-subtitled the languages. As in, like his previous movies where even a foreigner speaks Tamil :P :P....over here, the Australians start speaking in English, the voice fades and a Tamil translation takes over, it superimposes itself on the original English voice - but the English voice is still heard, albeit very feebly :D ...
Unfortunately, I used to get all excited on hearing Cap10 beginning to speak in English...but very soon, his Tamil translation would take over. I thought of noting down all his English dialogues..I didn't have a pen and paper...I started drafting SMSes with his english dialogues...They'll be listed a little later in this post..

Cap10 saw Vettaiyadu Vilayadu I guess....He's shown disgustingly gross things like women with slaughtered bodies, body parts being extracted, packaged and sold..eyes gouged out..etc..

Anyways....there are hardly any lines in the movie...every 2nd line is a punch-dialogue....Even the punch-dialogues of the villains praise cap10...Cap10 also shows his protective attitude towards eunuchs....The story then on, is simple...Cap10's girl gets kidnapped in Australia by international terrorists...and he rescues her :)...

Positives -
  • Cap10's chosen an untouched theme - that of Indian students being tortured in Australia.
  • Cap10 DOES NOT HAVE A HEROINE in this movie
  • Using subtitles..
  • Choice of villain - the main villain is handsome, sturdy and well-built. A refreshing change from watching Cap10's face.
There cannot be any negatives in a Cap10 movie...I am sorry! :D :D

Anyways, I'll end this post with the English dialogues & funny things I was busy SMS-drafting, while at the theater.
  • "White (wait)..I will check..White..I will sow (show)..India police eppdi ingarthu"..There was a BGM gibberish humming..something which sounded like "Da da donna" or something..
  • "Yenybady can give protecson..but kutram nadakarthukku munnadi padhugaapu kudukaravan thaan unmaiyaana policeman..."
  • "Awaver maadern they are..I will identify the CIRminal..."
  • "Please sow me the visoovals (pls show me the visuals) ..enga naatula students rattham A gurup B gurup aa irundhaalum...ore gurup aa irukkara maadiri vaazharaanga da" (something like that! who cares abt the Tamil part!!? Notice the A gurup B gurup!)
  • The girl and her oh-so-ugly gal pal arrive at "Australia airport". Is there an Australia airport? Wow!!! At least, that's what the Tamil subtitle said! They meet an ugly guy called Kevin at the airport. After reaching home, the oh-so-ugly girl says - "Ooooh! The ASSTRALIAN BOY! (WOW! Cap10's giving back racism to them! :D :D) dream boy"....Also, Cap10 tells Franklin, one of the Australian police offers of Indian origin..that he knew him from "Scaadland yard" itself...(Scotland yard!)....That guy, replies - "You've breaken the law man!!"
  • Cap10 calls up the girl and says - "Yen ma flight layned aanadhum phone pannale?..unakku naan..indernasonal sim card vera kudthurken...aamaa..anga veetula la LAYNED-line irukka?"
  • On phone, he threatens an Albanian darrarist(terrorist) - "Even if I don't see ur face..I know who are you...(who are you?? :-o)..What's ur demand? Money? Military secrets? Naan Virudhagiri da! Indernasonal police ku parade panninavan da naan!"
  • He tells a translator - "Mr.Thaamsan..Get een...How many longwages you know? Neenga translason pannanum.."....he tells a prostitute - "What you mean by regular? What yappened?" ..he finds his girl's sweater near another prostitute and says - "Where did you get thees? Tell me!"...He tells Franklin, "unga aalnga jaagging pora maadiri nadikkaraangale..avangala nirutthunga"
  • He interrogates Marteen (err..Martin), one of the villains..and asks him - "Who are you giving?? Where can I see him??"....He then tells him - "Unakku SAAK treatment thaan da seri" and then after electrocuting him, he asks "where's thee girl..come aan..tell me!".....Marteen says "Mike Anderson"...Cap10 - "Where's the guy..come aan..tell me!"...Marteen - "No one can see him!"...Cap10 - "Naansense!"..and then "Aamaa da..fram now one can see him..."
  • Cap10 rescues a prostitute ...takes care of her himself...and when she comes around, he says - "Don'd worry..are you aalrite? (aal as in "aal is well")..ungalukku naan AUNTYBIATIC kudthurken!!" (Wow! Cap10's teasing her by calling her "aunty"? ;) ;) )
  • When he gets to Marteen's headquarters ...he tells the security people there - "I waant to see yuvar baas..If I press thees button..All the indernasonal police will come and surround..Naat wonly yuvar life, whole family's life will be gaane...Ungala Saaatlite moolama paarthukittirukkom"...They say - "what wrong have we done?"...Cap10 replies - "Yevery CIRminal says that first"..
  • Towards the end of the movie, there's an item number where Australian girls dance to a Tamil song ...and then Mike Anderson, the main, handsome villain...speaks Tamil !!! (But Cap10's smart enough to make him say that he's an international terrorist and knows many languages)...Probably Cap10 got too tired of English, methinks..:P
THAT'S IT...TODAY WAS ONE OF THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE :D...I'M ON TOP OF THE WORLD...I FEEL AS HAPPY AS I WOULD IF I WERE TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING GREAT - LIKE THE NOBEL PRIZE OR SOMETHING!!! I DID THE IMPOSSIBLE!! :D :D ...A LONG-CHERISHED DREAM CAME TRUE!!!!! :) :) :)...I will NOT have a regret later on in life..that I DID NOT watch a Cap10 movie in theater...Call me insane, call me mad..whatever!
But I ended up giving priority to Cap10 over my family!! I missed Sruthi's short RJ's stint! :(...Sorry Sruthi...will listen next time for sure! :D...( unless I'm watching another cap10 movie then :P :P..kidding :P)
I'll put up pics & videos taken on my cell..AS SOON AS I find a bluetooth-enabled comp...

As for this movie, I think racism towards Indians in Australia is JUST GONNA INCREASE...if they ever see this movie..:P :P..




Sankari Ranganathan said...

MARVELOUS post.. you hat me laughing throughout th post..
yet to watch and gabtun movie in th theater.. adutha padam vantha, Pakka, 1st day 1st show!!

Ashwin S Kumar said...

lol..thanks :)

Vinoth kumar said...

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Gokul G said...

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